Taco Cat multiplies thrice for 2019-20 school year

Elizabeth Payton, Staff Writer
September 11, 2019

Ideal Taco Cat power structure. Photo by Elizabeth Payton.

Since his arrival, Taco Cat has become the poster child for the band department, greeting students with his mesmerizingly-yellow shell every time they enter the music room. In the past, Taco Cat has expanded his influence by multiplying his physical self, which has led to new forms such as him but in a band uniform, him but dressed for jazz and a giant version.

However, on the week of Sept. 9, he used his metaphysical energy to spawn three new Taco Cat beings, appropriately named Jorge, Pepito and Gerald, into existence, a move that has received a lot of praise from members of the band department. As an immediate reaction, one band student proceeded to create the “Multi-Taco Cat” structure (right), unknowingly creating a positive-feedback power loop within the sixth dimension.

Although it may be a while before we see more additions to the Taco Cat collection, according to Taco Cat himself, he has big plans for the future of Winnetonka.

“Ṃ͕̹͜y̋ͧͯ̃ ͠u̙ͮlt̔͗i̙̲͓͋̐̃m̺̣̋̽a͍̞̼̲̥͡ͅte͙̣͉̩̐ͭ̈̐ g̴͓͓͎͓o͎ͦ͞a̧̓̊́͑̉͐ͥl͆̉͗͠ ͘ìs̥̻̱̗͆̈̆͐ ̧͉̥͔̝̬̣̰̎ͥ̈́̐̇ͣ̃to ̳̪͔̝̬̞ͧ͑̃̉̈ͮ́ĩ̗͖͖͇̹̑̌̔̚n͈̯͋ͧf̃̅͗ͦͪl͠u̬͗e̎̓͊̾ͪ̽n̙̙̘ͮ̃̚͟c̺̯̫̣͔ͦ̓ͪͦ̐̓͘ͅe̗͇̞̞͙̖̘ e͙̣͔v̹̐̀e͖̩̐͂r̷y͈̯̦̲̫͚̟̆̓ͭ́̈ͤ̓͘ ͣcͮ͌́͌l͈̰̥͔̟̟̱a̫͙̬̠̫͎ͤ̾͂͐̑͆s͔̙͈̳͕̬̻s̵͍̣̯̥̪̅̃͒͋̉r̼ͦoọ̗̱͙͚̰̣̓͗̆̅͂͑̽m͖̱̰̮̝ ͨ̽ͧ͆̅͏in ̲̞̺̯̞̟̞t̩ͨh̳͖̝͙̬͖̼̐̏̎̆̅͐̚ḛ̥̮͇͈ s̮̬̫̺̫̝͎̏͆͑̃ͮ̇ͩch̩̼̮̽̂̿o͚͈͇̫̅̐̿̈͡o̊̐̈́̐ͣlͣͧ̇̾̓̂,̂̾̕ ̸̭̤̪͙̺̩͊ͬ̏͆̋ͩḃ̻̪̩̩̠͋͐̏̽̐ͅuͫͯ̿҉̣̹̲ṭ͈̭̼͔̝͖͗̽ͬ̇̊͂̀ ͞t͓̻̮h̓҉a̶ͪͪ̊t̰̦̣͓̲̦̣̍ͫ̿ͥ̓͋̽ ̊̋͐͛̇ͪͪm͍̠͚̩̙͚͓̑̈ͧ̍̈ͤ͆a̗̝̲̦͉͈̤̓ͨ̉͒͛ͦ͒y͉̤̱̻ ̫͇̩̟̌̉ͭ͗t̖̱̼͐ͤͦ͞a͍̝̭͓͖ͯ̎̍ͯͨk̼͗e ̸͎̪̺̫̎̀͌ͤạ ̖̤̻͍̲̘͚f͜e̲̼͖ͮ̄͒ẅ͋ ͔͗y͐ͣ̅̅͌e̓́͞a͝r̲͙̮̿ͦ̈s҉.̞̉,” Taco Cat said. ͝”M͜e̻̲̹̱a̘̗͉̼̲̫n̫̞̬͇̩͙͢wh̩͚̱̆̑̏͞i̼̪l̟͕͕̽ͯͦ͜e͇͈̙ͮ̋̔͡,̹̙̜͈̰ ̪ͭ͘I͒̽̌ͬ̀ ̱̤̣͊ͧ͂a̛͚̻̙ͦ̀́m ̡̦͉̅̓p̪̦͖̮̖̗̱͠l̮͈̤̬̈͋̅̑eä̮͍͇͓̳́͐̎̅̀͜sͫͬ̍ͮe̪̱̜̱̙͂ͧ͗̈́ͤd̡̾̿ͪͤ̒̾ͩ ̼͌w͚͇̣̜̿̍̏̿ȉ̞̩̳̄̏ṯ̼̝͎̟h̢̩̥͕̭̱ ̤̙̖͉̮̏ͫ̍̐̾m̹̲̰͖̹͚͋̂̂͂͐̌y̤͇̓̍́ ̪ͦn̺̲̉ͭe͓͖̮͊́ͫw͓̙ͬ͐ ̟ͣp̼͟h͙͇̥̜͍̱̱ỷ̑͐ͮͪs̜̀ic̠͉̣͉àl͔̯̠̘͇̳ͪ͌ͥ͊̑̓̍ͅ ͇͈̰͚̬ͯ̓̾̅̎f̵̞̞õ͓r͞m̴s̡.̟̮̭̯͉̘”